My thoughts at 38 weeks...

38. 38 Weeks today. I never even thought I would say that. We are so close. But yet, having never done this, I feel like I might be pregnant forever. Babies do like to come out of their warm cocoon right? Although, if she did come today, would I be ready? I'm not really sure. Are you ever ready for your first baby? Ok so yes, her nursery is completely done and SO cute. I'll put pics up soon. Gabe has had school off for the last two weeks that we've been home from Utah and all we've done is baby prep. Our room is rearranged and clean, the house is clean, the laundry is done. All of her clothes are washed and put away. Her many blankets folded and tucked away. My body feels like it is ready to pop. (And looks like it too) Not only my tummy, but my feet, my hands, my face... the whole bit. To top it off, my immune system is a no go. I've had an awesome head cold since we've been home from Utah, going on 2 weeks now. Last Tuesday I had the stomach flu. I haven't had the stomach flu since I was 10 maybe. Let me tell you though, it was not fun having a baby sit on top of your sick belly. I thought for sure she would want out that day. She loves her water bed though. I'm feeling a little better now, hoping to kick this cold completely by D-day. A lot of rest the doc tells me... and I laugh. I hope someday in the future to have a complete nights sleep. I'm told that won't happen for a long while. Oh well. I guess I'm about as ready as I'll ever be. Now I'm playing that waiting game that I've never been good at.

As the days go by I get more and more anxious. More and more excited. I've been picturing for 9 months what she'll look like, her little toes and fingers, her eye color, hoping she'll have Gabe's smile, maybe my nose. I can't wait until she gets here. I feel like this is sort of surreal. Sometimes I sit at the Dr's office, waiting for him to come in, thinking, "am I really here? Am I really here checking on my baby?" Crazy feeling. We are so so so excited for her to come though. Even though I'm so nervous, I hope she knows how excited I am. I hope she's excited to come to us. I've been thinking a lot lately about what she's doing right at this very moment, ya know, up in heaven. I've been wondering about who she is spending time with, her family, her favorite friends. I wonder if she's excited to come to us, maybe nervous. Maybe she's feeling just like I am. Excited and nervous all at the same time. I've had this discussion with a lot of my friends and family. I've asked them their opinion on when her spirit is with her body. Is she there in my tummy right now? Or does she come when she takes that first breath of air? I don't really know. I know everyone has their own opinion and I'm not one to say who is right or wrong. I do feel her little spirit though. I had an interesting conversation over thanksgiving with my family about feeling "homesick". I can't stop thinking about this conversation. Do you ever get that feeling in your stomach like your "homesick"? Even if you're home? I get it every once in a while. And I get it all of a sudden, not even when thinking about it. Its not even a feeling like you miss your family or your house, like I said, sometimes I get it even at home. But it's usually in my stomach, that aching for "home". Over Thanksgiving while we were eating breakfast one morning my sister said she had that "homesick" feeling. I told her that I get it too, relieved that someone else has felt that feeling. My mom told us that she gets the feeling too, but she loves it. She thinks it is a feeling of longing for "home". Our real home in Heaven with our Heavenly Father. And it reminds her where she came from. I've thought about it a lot since then because I get that feeling so much more with Londyn in my tummy. I used to get it a lot when I was younger. It sort of faded to every once in a while and since I've been pregnant, I get it a lot more. A lot of times when I feel it is when she is moving around in there. Its like she hits the "homesick" button. But since that conversation, I've had a different perspective. I love it when I feel "homesick". I personally feel like she is up in Heaven, waiting to come here to earth to join our family. But I know her little spirit is close to us. And when I feel "homesick" I feel close to home with her. I wonder what that is like up there, leaving family and friends to come to us. I'm excited for her. I wish she could tell us all about it. I can't wait to meet her.

Just my own thoughts. I didn't even really intend to share but as I get closer to her coming, that is something I want to remember.

Alright. I am ready... I think. Ready or not she's coming right?! We can't wait. I'll update more pics and such from our vacation up in Utah. It's on the list of things to do before her grand entrance. Maybe tomorrow? We'll see.