Dear Paula Deen,

Dear Paula Deen,

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and saw Pot Roasts on sale. Of course I picked me up the biggest one and headed home with no recipe in mind. I showed my husband my find. His mouth started to water. He went straight to the trusty internet and googled recipe's for pot roasts. Your picture appeared. We clicked on a video and watched you in all your glory for 5 minutes create the "Harry Connick Jr. Pot Roast". When the movie was over... Gabe turned to me and said, "I'm in love with Paula Deen." Either he was serious, or he just really wanted me to make the recipe. One thing entered my head. "At least he doesn't have very high expectations for the future." Not to be rude or demeaning. I was happy. At least I know that in the future I can gain a few...10, 20, 30 pounds and my husband will still love me, as long as I can cook. Good to know... Then fear entered my head, fear that if I didn't learn to cook, (which I struggle with daily) my husband may just leave me... for you... Paula Deen.

And so... After church I got to work. I rubbed the roast with your special spice, I seared the meat, and I pulled out the secret ingredient from my cupboard. Well, not secret, the Red wine. Gabe was given Red wine for Christmas a couple years ago from a Pipe Hanger Fabrication shop. It has sat in our cupboard since and I had to explain when my mother came to town and gave me the odd look... you see, we're Mormon, and don't even have a cork puller-outer-thingy to open the darn bottle. Don't worry, Gabe asked the girl next door and she glady helped us out with the puller-outer-thingy... I added the rest of the ingredients, well I don't own worcestershire sauce, I'm hoping that's not that big of a deal. I substitued A1... Don't judge me. I'll get it next time... And then I stuck the whole thing in the oven. 3 hours... still waiting. I shouldn't have started so late. When I was done, my husband said, "I'm not in love with Paula Deen, I'm in love with Abby that cooks Paula Deen's recipe's". Sorry for the disappointment, I think I'm gonna hold onto this guy. Just as long as you keep putting your secrets online. Good news is that you might still get him, just not in the same way. He now wishes you were his Grandma. "Imagine the Sunday Dinners", he says. He said that every Christmas would be an "ON YEAR" if you were cooking for Christmas. (I'm gonna give my mom and mother-in-law your christmas recipe book, they'd be mad if they lost us on Christmas... We're really fun.)

Thank you Paula Deen.

Love,

Abby Valenzuela